Salt beef bagel at Brick Lane Beigel Bake

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I’m surprised they don’t call this dish ‘salt beef with a bagel garnish’! As you can see from the photo, the amount of meat you get in this sandwich is beyond generous.

But have they compromised on quality in the process? I’d have to say no, since this is some of the most succulent, flavourful, almost mellow beef I’ve tasted.

Despite the size, you almost feel like you could line up another: rather than leaving you heavy and greasy, the salting process takes the edge off the fat, resulting in a meaty but not too heavy mountain.

“Some of the most succulent, flavourful, almost mellow beef I’ve tasted”

Of course, the bagels are the eponymous star of this outlet. I’ve made many a trip to Brick Lane to avail myself of a half dozen of these beauties, and until you’ve tasted the real deal, you’ve had a raw one. Supermarket bagels are a totally different beast to these soft but chewy toruses. I’d recommend investing in several: after a day or two they’re perfect to toast, and take on a crispy, light patina just right for absorbing melting butter.

Their smoked salmon and cream cheese bagel is also a bargain at just £1.70! Any Jewish mother could recommend!

But will I be back for another salt beef extravaganza? You bet I will be.

12/100 best London dishes

Spicy pork and fennel meatballs at Polpo

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There’s something deeply comforting and homely about meatballs. But I wasn’t sure whether they could be truly gourmet food. One of the criteria we’re using to judge is the ‘daydream test’. I.e. do we find ourselves dreaming about eating the dish again, in that deeply evocative way that tastes and smells can be. I was, quite simply, wrong. I’ve daydreamed about these several times.

“Whatever it is, I’m in heaven”

These meatballs were a cut above. In fact, they were several cuts above. These are effectively skinless spicy Italian sausages – but you can tell immediately that no horror pig-parts feature here. They managed to be light, and almost fluffy, not leaden lumps of gristle or solid meat. But they achieved this whilst also managing to avoid floury stodginess – these were no pork dumplings.

Presented in their threes simply in a bowl of the freshest, like-your-Italian-momma-used-to-make tomato sauce, this dish is intended to be shared (as the waitress was at pains to point out when we ordered three portions). But the dish, remarkably, stands up well on its own – not just in terms of portion size, which was just right (at least, after a day of remorseless eating), but also in terms of mix of flavours. Not one bite became boring.

“I’ll be back for these again. And again”

Perhaps it’s the chilli-warmth, that’s like sitting in front of a wood-burning stove. Or maybe the hint of aniseedy fennel. The pairing with the crisp, tart sauce. Or maybe it’s the sheer comforting indulgence of eating what feels a little like it belong on the kids menu, or out of a can. Whatever it is, I’m in heaven. I’ll be back for these again. And again.

12/100 best dishes in London

Peanut butter and jelly sandwich at Spuntino

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There was much debate about whether this was an ice-cream sandwich. That is, before we reached Spuntino a couple of Chowdown Showdown Getsarounders were insistent that they weren’t interested in eating a plain old peanut butter and jam sandwich. In spite of my insistence, we couldn’t be totally sure until the dish was put in front of us.

“It’s funny, sweet, caloric, unsubtle… and the perfect American dessert”

Of course, the moment it arrived we got the ‘joke’, and a very witty one it is too. It’s a sandwich, and an ice-cream sandwich, and neither. ‘Bread slices’ of peanut ice-cream are sandwiched around raspberry jam (yes, it’s jelly in the American sense), with a sprinkling of peanut brittle on top.

And you know what? It’s delicious. Massively indulgent, rich, and clearly a treat. I don’t even know if I’d (rush out to) eat it again. But it’s funny, sweet, caloric, unsubtle… and the perfect American dessert. The ice-cream was moreish, melting into a creamy, nutty pool. The jam was super-sweet, tart and fresh. The brittle crunchy and chewy.

I’m eager to eat at Spuntino again, and this madcap dessert adventure has certainly made me want to see what other tricks they have up their sleeves.

28/100 best London dishes

Classic beef pho at Cay Tre

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A big bowl of south-east Asian noodles is always warming and comforting, especially when you’re drenched in a sudden October shower. This bowl had the right mix of aromatic, sweet, and, with the addition of the red chilli served with other herbs on the side, heat. Hand-made noodles were a cut above the standard packet fare.

“I’d happily have a party at Cay Tre, with tastier food than, say, Wagamama. But would I rush back for this pho? Unclear.”

The star of the show was the beef. Some slices of grilled beef and some melting brisket were both spot on, and took on the fresh crispness of the broth while still being warm and luxurious.

I wasn’t terrible enamoured with the decision to serve a (huge) pile of herbs and beansprouts on the side. Perhaps I’m being a philistine (and, yes, I know many places serve pho in this way), but getting you to flavour your own stock seemed to shirk the responsibility of creating a delicious dish. This isn’t Koya with its amazing walnut miso concoction. Perhaps I should have just dumped my whole plate of herbs into the bowl, but anything else amounts to Mongolian hotpot, where the only one to blame if you don’t like the mix is yourself. This was only emphasized by one companion who fished out the onion, which had been served in the bowl.

The other downer was that I tried someone else’s spicy-garlicky pho, and thought that broth was really spectacular. In the end, I’d happily have a party at Cay Tre, with tastier food than, say, Wagamama. But would I rush back for this pho? Unclear.

71/100 top dishes on London

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Matcha bubble tea at Boba Jam

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Hello Kitty. Dressing up as characters from Manga cartoons. Fluorescent drinks with lumps of goo? There are some things so exotic and quintessentially Oriental that westerners just aren’t going to get it. But is bubble tea one of them?

“Vulgar, sugary cocktails of fruity milkshake plus tea… what’s not to like?”

The concept is straightforward, and, to unaccustomed eyes, straightforward barmy enough. Take balls of sticky, translucent tapioca, plonk into milky tea and add flavours, anything from fruit to chocolate, so long as you can think of an appropriate bright colour to identify it.

Two members of the Chowdown Showdown Getsaround crew already disliked these drinks. I generally love them. Vulgar, sugary cocktails of fruity milkshake plus tea plus fat straws with ideal dimensions for firing sticky blobs at your companions if you’re so inclined / bored of drinking (/eating?) them – what’s not to like?

I get the picture that they’re a bit odd, but they come in such varieties of flavours that, unless you’re inured to inoffensive lumps that just add fun (I don’t think they even take on the flavour of the liquid), how can you object?

My problem, though, is that this just wasn’t the best bubble tea I’ve had. It also wasn’t the best matcha I’ve had. Perhaps I wasn’t in the mood, but rather than being vibrant and indulgent this was more grainy and dull. The lychee milk someone else had was more interestingly flavoured with a strong fruity punch.

I’ve been there before, I’ll probably be back. But I reckon there’s a better bubble tea to be found in London. Answers on a postcard, or in the comments below.

67/100 best London dishes

Chicken livers at Yalla Yalla

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I don’t like livers. Or should I say, I still don’t like livers. I can’t point to a particular aspect of them, though the taste is obviously the main thing – I just don’t like them and doubt I ever will. So I’d been worried about this dish and am, frankly, glad to have it over and done with.

“I’d hoped it might go some way to converting me”

To be fair, the pomegranate molasses marinade this was served in was delicious, and right after the bite the dish was pleasant enough. But then the aftertaste hits, with all its irony, bitter, bloody notes and I’m afraid I want to wretch. I didn’t make it through my whole bowl, and nor did Rachael.

I also thought this needed to be served with bread or salad, though to be fair we could have ordered sides.

All in all, this was never going to be the dish for me. I’d hoped it might go some way to converting me. It didn’t.

100/100 dishes in London.

Bacon naan at Dishoom

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Could this be the perfect way to start the day? Especially for those who’d been out the night before.

“But boy what a bacon butty…”

Grilled bacon meets sweet, tangy tomato chutney (it would be unfair to call this fresh, well-spiced sauce “ketchup”), yoghurt and a handful of coriander. This is all wrapped in a freshly-baked naan, which surprised us all by being fluffy, light and soft rather than dense, heavy and hard as we’d incorrectly imagined it might be.

Later in the day someone remarked that they just wanted some normal food rather than kidneys or bubble tea. This dish is definitely ‘normal food’, fused with Indian tastes and taken to an extreme. It’s just a bacon butty, but boy what a bacon butty! Along with sweet chai this is breakfast to get out of bed for. And yes, the perfect hangover cure.

53/100 best eats in London

Goats’ cheese stuffed courgette flowers with lavender honey at Salt Yard

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This is a relatively straightforward dish, as the picture probably suggests. Courgette flowers are stuffed with tangy goats’ cheese, deep fried in the lightest of batters and drizzled (very generously) with aromatic lavender honey. Simple ingredients, but a really tasty result.

“They’re a bit of theatre and the chefs know how to play it”

Well, I say simple ingredients, but flowers rather than fruit bodies of courgette are no doubt pretty exotic. You couldn’t easily see these yellow beauties, and I was surprised (pleasantly it turns out) that they were cooked with quite a length of stalk which helped the dish stand up to the mellow but robust flavour of the oozing cheese, and gave a lovely crunchy bite to go with the crispy batter and flower.

The honey was sweet, obviously, but also almost spicy in its aromaticness. Together it amounted to an ethereal offering which is deservedly a signature dish for Salt Yard.

Courgette flowers are never going to fill you up, and I can’t honestly promise that the petals themselves add much to the dish, but they’re a bit of theatre and the chefs know how to play it. 

I’ve been told off for going on about other dishes not part of the Chowdown Showdown Londontown challenge, so here are some pictures to tantalise you of the other dishes on offer, with no additional commentary…

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24/100 best dishes in London

Pulled pork, burger, chips, fried pickles at The Sir Garnet

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The recently refurbished Sir Garnet pub on Norwich’s Market Square (formally the Sir Garnet Wollesley) is home of @thebaronofbeef, purveyor of locally-sourced culinary goodness, in the form of the best burgers in Norwich, thin chips, deep fried pickles and daily specials.

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I was just about to go for the umami burger (a new addition to the menu), in fact going as far as to order one, then deciding the time for the fifth taste could wait, since pulled pork graced the specials board and it’s a favourite of mine. This fabled burger features miso infused into the meat and kim chi garnish. Next time!

I made the right choice. The fluffy, eggy homemade bun was filled with meltingly tender smoked pork bathed in Carolina-style sweetly sour (or sourly sweet) barbecue sauce, along with the Baron’s classic slaw. Delicious!

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The thin chips were, as ever, superb, crispy, moreish and (bar the coming heart attack) the perfect accompaniment. The table next to us nearly abandoned their dinner reservation elsewhere on seeing these chips – they’re that good. They eventually settled on the pork scratchings (yes, homemade), and a promise to return.

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I’ve ordered the deep fried pickles twice before. The first time was on the Garnet’s opening night, when “they’re not on the menu yet”. The second, they were off the menu. So these have been a long time coming.

For those who’ve not yet had the delight, the concept is the battering and then deep-frying of still-crunchy pickles. The Baron of Beef pairs his with blue cheese dip. Perhaps the whole concept sounds wrong to you? But they are delicious – crisp, comforting, acid, smooth, mmm…

I’ll confess, when chef asked how these were, he also said he’d been working on them for weeks now. They were an awesome take on the dish, with almost fritter batter. I think they could be even better with a thinner, crisper tempura-style batter, but that would make a very different side.

Okay, this food isn’t perfectly balanced nor five-a-day, but, then, we all go out for dirty American food every so often. You might as well make it to-die-for delicious food every once in a while when you do!

Squid and mackerel burger at Arbutus

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Let’s get the first thing out of the way immediately: this burger is a ‘burger’. It doesn’t have a bun. It doesn’t have salad garnish. And there isn’t any ketchup in sight!

“Every mouthful was a cascade of flavours”

What was surprisingly on-message, though, was quite how meaty the burger was. This could easily have ended up a squashed fish-ball, or a sloppy, fishy mush, or, worst of all (given the main constituent parts) a rock-hard bullet of seafood. Instead, it was genuine burger-consistency, and had a flavour that would satisfy a carnivore.

The main affair (though, it should be noted, this dish is actually a starter) is accompanied by razor clam, chopped and sautéed with shallots, plus fabric-thin strips of squid. Every mouthful was a cascade of flavours, and complexity was added by the unusual pairing of coriander in the ‘burger-meat’ and a generous sprinkling of dill across the dish. These herbs shouldn’t match, and yet they do, and even brought the whole dish together.

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Okay, so we’re under strict orders to judge just the dish, and not the whole meal, but it would be mean to fail to mention that the rest of the dinner was also spectacular. Cod fillet, crisp chicken wings (boneless), pink grapefruit, ginger and honey preserve was as delicious as it sounds, with every element perfectly matched. The silky, subtle cod bouncing off the sparkling ‘marmalade’ and complemented by the crispness of the chicken. Rachael had Grilled piece of beef, heritage carrots, cavolo nero, gratin dauphinois, which sounds like a fairly straightforward offer, but every part was oozing flavour, distinct, and stood up as part of a whole.

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“For sheer burgerness, for braveness, for spot-on flavours, it’s making it into the top twenty”

I was a bit jealous of her Vanilla and rosewater scented cheesecake, roast Provençal figs, which was a riot of different (and individually perfect) tastes, whereas my Chocolate ‘aero’ bar, pear, salted caramel suffered from having the only let-down of the meal: I felt the dark, aerated chocolate was on the side of being bland and bitter without that punch you get from a solid block of 80% cocoa chocolate. I even ventured that an actual Aero, sliced in half, might have been a bit more joyous. But the pear, wrapped round a fluffy salted caramel foam was spectacular.

I couldn’t eat this well every day. There was so much going on, so much sophistication that, when compared with the pared-down, use-the-best-ingredients-and-cook-one-thing-perfectly culinary culture rightly in vogue in London, it made me realise that sometimes twenty ingredients really does add up to something better than five. But there was so much competition for my taste buds that I couldn’t do it all the time. It wasn’t relaxing, and I felt like the next day I’d want a hearty soup where every spoonful was deliciously, comfortingly the same.

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Forget the last three paragraphs: we’re rating the ‘burger’, and, for sheer burgerness, for braveness, for spot-on flavours, it’s making it into the top twenty.

19/100 best dishes in London.